18 August, 2014

Yesterday was "Black Cat Appreciation Day"

Confused Cats Against Feminism. Been thinkin' 'bout you.

09 August, 2014

Crowds go wild, Miss.

. . . I'm gonna fuck you and you know it, clap your hands . . .

. . . I'm gonna fuck you and you know it , . . 

. . . clap your hands . . .

06 August, 2014

One example of women never excelling in Chess...

At  the end of the day, you'll always remain "Fuck-ee" -- and you hate that...

30 July, 2014

Travis County Limits

The usual elderly home store pro sales cashier asks, "what my nationality is . . ."
"I'm second-generation Austinite, fifth-gen Texan, ma'am."
"Wow, but what I meant was 'before that', 'what breed' ?"
"Dane, I suppose."
"Is that where you get that outrageous accent?"
"No, it's actually from a variety of drugs – and alcohol [wink]."
"Get out of my store, Reid [blushed handing me a normal $500+ receipt]."
"Well you gotta organize your [fork lift] team to get rid'a'me!"
"Do I get my hug first, or do I have to make you coffee, yet? It's 4pm-"
"Better make it stronge – I'll go do some more shopping."
           "One cream, two sugars. [hugs]"

29 July, 2014

So the pony went . . . and so it goes . . . forever and ever . . . Rámen.

RIP 2014
I don't even know what to conjecture . . . "hit by vehicle while jaywalker the Vegas Strip, intoxicated" is what your article shouldn't have said, but alas (within its intricacies), did.

That old adage shit "you die twice: once when your heart stops, the other when someone last recalls your memory" may hold well of you (and for some time, however infamous).

I write some (in memory of you)... thanks for housing all that mischievous mayhem in return for very little, on my part, other than picking up the slack in your "leavings off."

Thanks for motivating me to become a better person, I am grateful for the continued opportunity to become better!

The world needs more than wishing you two well.

It's your turn to hit greens.

08 July, 2014

I had you by the scrotum, dear lad . . .

. . . then released.
View from not my quadricopter.
Watching as you toss firecrackers

Used without permission, here, © Post Secret
Upon my hood, just one car following behind yours.

A wild shitty water color appears.
Drugged, flucked off and/or enraged. Apparently upset with my passing to his left (as you're supposed to do!), swoops in to cut me off . . . the finger, his, a nice little touch.

I'm certain Remington won't mind if I swipe a beautiful 870 from their homepage...

Let it go. Don't get out the shotgun – jail certainly is NO FUN

but goddammit CRACK BAM SNAP POP!
Another one, Obviously not from around here, readily making yet another poor decision: to evade me while passing through downtown, swear-to-god right-past the ole police station . . . sure, let me just get on the radio and:

No officer, you don't get the revenue; a citizen instead becomes wiser of living good folk.
Bam six APD cruisers simultaneously light your dumb ass up, momentarily victorious.

I stop and clearly explain the rules of my prosecution: if the occupants are sober, nobody goes to jail... I will not press charges. Otherwise, be sure to bring cash when you get your car out from impound (I know from experienceS!)

Everybody passes, I nod my head, knowingly that tonight I spared this ignoramous the humility of:

) Going to jail (by them)

) Being killed (by me)

) nor having to pay some silly fine (to State)

Settled, good night. Drive real careful, ya'll (or us crazies'll get ya'!)

02 July, 2014

And that's what ballgags are for . ?

Dear Dan.

 If only

you were real.

"I will work on me for you,

if you will work on you for me."

01 July, 2014

What have you been up to this summer?

A good question, playing with cranes!

The main (1200lb) span of my first completely-from-scratch build-out.
Just a 5000 sqft garage. Custom designed into a zero-oaks-killed configuration.

Remembrances of past, and onward through the fog to the future!